The Sauced Bulletin

Did you guys hear?  Apparently Rick Perry, everyone’s favorite racist, mass murderer Texas governor, Rick Perry, has dropped out of the race for the Republican nomination.  In even bigger news, apparently Rick Perry was STILL running for president as late as yesterday!

I honestly thought Perry had dropped out months ago.  I mean there was the whole Republicans at a debate cheering for his record number of people put to death thing.  Then that whole uh…….big rock with an offense sign on it that turned out to be the name of his Texas hunting camp thing.  Oh, and there was that time he was totally drunk during a speech!  Remember that!?  And of course, who could forget (get it?) when he forgot a major part of his governmental reform in the middle of a debate.  Honestly, Perry’s campaign should have been over after any one of those incidents.  He had almost as much embarrassing shit go down as Herman Cain did!  And yet he hung in there, just like the stubborn southern douchebag that we all knew he was.

Well, adios Rick Perry!  You may have meant well, but you just couldn’t keep your shit together when the cameras were on.  And when you’re president, THAT’S ALL THE TIME!  And speaking of when the cameras were on, we might as well stop watching those debates now everybody.  Perry was really the last of the fun candidates.  Now we’re just left with four boring, angry, spiteful, hate-filled, homophobic trash-talkers.  You thought the debates were nasty before?  Just wait and see what happens without the soothing presence of Rick Perry and that pleasant southern draaaaaawl of his.

Ladies and gentlemen, here we are.  The end of the line.  List season is officially over because this is THE BIG ONE.  Many hours of intense soul searching went into this one, and the final decision was not easy.  Now I’m not trying to make it sound like putting this list together wasn’t fun, because it was.  I’m trying to communicate to you that we here at The Sauced Bulletin really care about this one.  This list is it.  The music that made 2011 what it was.

So without further ado, read on after the jump and enjoy The Sauced Bulletin’s Top 10 Albums of 2011.

Oh wait, also, THIS is our 100th POST!  YAY!  We made it! USA!  USA!

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All right people, we’re nearing the end of our struggle.  “What struggle?” you might ask.  Why, the one we’ve been engaged in since early December:  systematically categorizing and ranking an entire year’s worth of music until we arrive at the music that was THE BEST.  And this week we will find out just which 10 albums were better than all the other ones, at least according to The Sauced Bulletin (which, you know, is pretty definitive).  Are you as excited as I am!?!?  Because I’m so excited I can barely type straight!

BUT, that’s not what we’re doing today.  Before we give you our Top 10 Albums of 2011 list, we need to talk about a few records that just barely didn’t make the cut.  These ones were so close, oh soooooooo very close to being in there.  In fact, all of them were in our top 10 at different points in the year, but were then pushed out as we approached the end and the decisions became tougher and tougher.  They’re not in any specific order, o don’t view them as numbers 15-11, but they probably would have been in some capacity!

So just enjoy this short list, check out some songs, and come back TOMORROW for The List of All Lists:  The Sauced Bulletin’s Top 10 Albums of 2011, which will be accompanied by a 2-hour televised list-revealing EVENT, to be simulcast on all major TV networks!

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I mean hey, it blew The Descendants and The Artist out of the water in every conceivable way, but THAT’S JUST ME!  Don’t worry, it probably won’t win anything significant in America because it’s too dark, too confusing, and too….well, British.

But it was great and you should go see it while you have the chance!  Gary Oldman continues to be the fucking man.

Here they are, folks.  The best of the best.  The creme de la creme.  The 10 songs from this past year that were better than all the other ones!  At least in our opinion!  I mean sure, there were HUNDREDS of songs released this year (some would even say thousands).  I think Rihanna had like 70 or 80 top ten singles alone, and you couldn’t turn on the radio without hearing some rehashed Katy Perry song about teenage romance or some shit.  But none of those songs matter because THEY SUCKED!  They’re not on this list!  These are the 10 songs that mattered, the ones that shaped the year in music that was 2011, and the ones that we’re gonna keep listening to into 2012 and beyond.

So check out The Sauced Bulletin’s Top 10 Songs of 2011 after the jump.  YA HEARD!?

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Yeah, I know 2011 is over and we’re a few days into 2012.  What of it!?  these lists are hard to make!  They take time, which is something I didn’t have much of over the Christmas/New Years holiday week of debauched extravaganza-ing.  But don’t worry, it’s still totally acceptable to recap 2011 at this point because nothing has happened in 2012 yet.  No albums of note have been released, nor have any movies, and there won’t be anything worth talking about entertainment wise for at least a few more weeks.  We’re in the doldrums here, people!

So let’s just get right to it.  You’re going to notice a few things when you look at this list.  A lot of songs were the first songs on their respective records.  Why?  Were bands front-loading their albums with the best shit this year?  I don’t know!  Also, a lot of songs mention the “future”, probably because it’s mysterious and uncertain and deep and stuff.  Then there are lots of songs by boy/girl duos.  Again, no real explanation for it.  But you go, couples!

The first half is after the jump.  The Top 10 will be posted tomorrow!  Happy New Year!!!!!!

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It’s not quite Christmas yet, but since you guys have been so good, you can open one present early this year.  And that present is:  our Top 5 Debut Albums of 2011!  Woohoo!  I know, we shouldn’t have, but you really don’t have to thank us.  We here at The Sauced Bulletin are all about encouraging new, awesome bands to continue making music, which is the point of this list.  So what I’m saying is, even if this list wasn’t your early Christmas gift, it would have been written anyway.  So there.  You’re welcome?

Check out the very best that the rookies of 2011 had to offer, after the jump.

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